The Space Between
by Middleageslover
Summary: Sam's POV sort of. A song fic, my first.


**The Space Between**

A song fic. This is my first one, so it's a little choppy, but please tell me what you think. I want HONEST reviews! They help me write better stories! the song here is called The Space Between by Dave Matthews Band.

* * *

_You cannot quit me so quickly  
Is no hope in you for me  
No corner you could squeeze me  
But I've got all the time for you love_

I stared out the window of the Impala, wondering what would have happened if Dean had never came to get me. I would have finished college, Jess would still be alive, and life would be great, wouldn't it?

_The space between  
The tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more  
The space between  
The wicked lies we tell to keep us safe from the pain_

Jess and I had planned on getting engaged, but Dean and dad didn't know that. They weren't going to know until we sent them the wedding invitations because Jess had insisted they come. What she didn't know was why I didn't want them to. I know I must be a horrible person, not wanting my family, my only family, to be at my wedding.

_Will I hold you again  
These fickle fuddled words confuse me  
Like will it rain today  
We waste the hours with talking talking  
These twisted games we're playing  
We're strange allies with warring hearts  
What a wild eyed beast you be_

I remember her. Her face, soft and tender to the touch. Her hair, so silky smooth. I wanted to have her again, to see her alive. Most of all, I wanted to go back in time to change everything. I wouldn't go with Dean for that weekend. I wouldn't have left Jess alone at all. Dad was ok, so Dean would have eventually found him. They would be ok without me.

_Look at us spinning out in the madness of a rollercoaster  
You know you went off like the devil in the church   
In the middle of a crowded room  
All we can do my love  
Is hope we don't take this ship down _

I would miss being with Dean, but being with Jess, and having her alive meant more to me. Besides, dad and I still had a grudge going on between us.

_The space between_

_Where you smile and hide_

_That's where you'll find me if I get to go _

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Dad was yelling at me because I had chosen to go to college over hunting. He was mad because I wanted a normal life, and I still do. I wish mom had never died. I wish I could go back and save her. It was my fault anyway. I was psychic and that is what the demon wants, psychics. Dad told me to get out and never come back, so I left. Dean protested, but not to an extent. Besides, I wouldn't listen to him. Nothing was going to stop me from living my dream.

_The space between_  
_The bullets in our fire fight_  
_Is where I'll be hiding waiting for you_  
_The rain that falls splashed in your heart_  
_Ran like sadness down the window into your room _

I wanted to become a lawyer, and so did Jess. That is how we met, in our history class. We had dated for two weeks after before we decided to become a couple. She moved in with me a couple months after. We had been a couple for a year and a half before she died. I had planned on proposing to her at graduation. She had told me she wanted a fall wedding, so I thought that would give us a couple months to plan.

_The space between our wicked lies is_  
_The hope to keep safe from pain_  
_Take my hand cause we're walking out of here_  
_Right out of here is all we need dear _

Jess wanted kids, and so did I. She had wanted a girl, named Clara. I couldn't disagree. That was a beautiful name. If we had a boy I would get to name it. I thought of naming it after Dean, but I wouldn't for fear of my son becoming just like him, so I decided Jack. It was a nice name, but now…I don't think I will ever get to use either. Jess and mom are gone, and I can't change that. My heart is empty.

_The space between_  
_What's wrong and right_  
_Is where you'll find me hiding _  
_Waiting for you_  
_The space between _  
_Your heart and mind_  
_Is the space we'll fill with time_


End file.
